two years ago today...

...at 2:30 in the morning, i was merely praying for God to please let this kid COME ALREADY!!! now, as i look at those beautiful eyes, i'm just so grateful for the blessing which is him! even though he just cried for 15 minutes straight and gave me a not-so-great, VERY early start to my day, i still appreciate having him in our lives. plus, i understand his pain so i'm cutting him some slack! see, daddy decided that two is "big boy" range. and big boys NEVER walk around looking like this:
john has been talking about it for months...even warning kea: when you turn two, daddy's taking keeper from you! (keeper is short for PEACE keeper). well, the other day kea and i were home alone and keeper was misplaced. so, i decided that i may as well bite the bullet and start the process then. kea was NOT HAPPY. he thrashed; he begged; he screamed; he almost made me lose my mind! but, we're at day four now and he's doing well...for the MOST part. several points to remember:don't mention keeper around him; don't show him any pictures of himself UTILIZING keeper; and the MOST important rule: make sure to freshen his diaper before he falls asleep so that he doesn't have to be awakened in the middle of the night screaming for keeper. why am i up at 2:30 am, blogging? i fell asleep last night before kea. when i was awakened around 1:30 by barney singing about friendship ( i don't LIKE that dinosaur!!!) i checked kea and realized he was SATURATED!!!! of course, he couldn't stay that way because he's so susceptible to diaper rashes so i had to bite the bullet and change him...and i woke him. at first, he just reached for keeper; then, he insisted that i find it FOR him...LOUDLY...for TWENTY MINTUES!!! it's times like these which separate the weak from the strong; times like these REALLY show if you have any abusive tendencies! but, i stayed cool. even though he was twitching, i resisted the urge to stuff keeper in his mouth while screaming, "here...TAKE HIM!!!" you see, the last four days have been like living with a crack addict going through withdrawals. he awakens and he is the SWEETEST little boy, with those big beautiful eyes and those beautiful teeth. then....just...like....THAT...he snaps and turns into pookie from new jack citytwitching, throwing himself around...just like a person who's fighting an addiction. i feel pretty much like a crack addict myself right now because all i can do is hold him and rock him back and forth while he claws at me and his daddy snores (did i mention that daddy can LITERALLY fall asleep in two minutes flat? i've always wanted to suck that ability RIGHT OUT OF HIM like a BODY SNATCHER...i NEED THAT!!!) but, God is good because He gave me some peace and now the murderous thoughts have dissipated and the warm fuzzies have returned. at two the little boy:
*snatches his pamper off and asks to use the potty more often
*tells us EXACTLY what he wants/doesn't want (cup, please! stop, ahmad! eat, please!)
*will give me kisses most of the time without making me fall to my knees and beg for them
*loves to be outside
*LOVES LOVES LOVES football! he will throw his arms in the air whenever the crowd roars
during a game. doesn't matter if it's a first down...SCREW THAT!!! EVERYTHING'S
touchdown!!!
*loves the phone...not to talk...just to listen...well, he will say lub you and bye but not much else
*makes us so grateful to have him in our lives. have you ever been in a situation where
you desire a thing for so long that when you finally get it the disappointment is just
overwhelming? well, i wanted this little boy for about eight years. around the time ahmad
turned three, i decided that i wanted another baby. i would daydream about it, pray for it...i could just feel this baby in my arms. that feeling has never diminished. i worried that having another baby at a more...ummm, MATURE point in my life would mean i would be dealing with this little person with a lot less patience. i delivered jamani the month before i turned 20...he was like a toy to me: i just played with him and held him all the time...he was SO MUCH FUN! i was 24 when ahmad came along and still young enough to be pliable. but, i had kea two weeks before i turned 36. i was afraid of not having enough patience to deal with him daily. but, that worry was unwarranted. of COURSE he tweaks my nerves every now and then...but HE actually drives me a LOT LESS crazy than my 18 year old! i feel so blessed that God has entrusted this beautiful, intelligent, FUNNY little being into our care...AND so blessed that God gifted me with a good husband to help raise this little person! so, i guess the good outweighs the bad and we'll keep the little boy (cause about an hour ago i was SERIOUSLY contemplating giving him to Goodwill in the morning with the donations!)
we're having a REALLY small party saturday with some of kea's favorite characters from sesame street. the only one he'll call by name is "elbo" so i made some quick invitations using him

i normally love EVERY aspect of parties, from the food to the balloons to the decorations. but, i'm so swamped with everything else right now that i'm just ready for this one to be OVER!!! i'll be working like a robot today to get as much done as possible before we attend open house at ahmad's potential high school...MERCY!!! that's ANOTHER thing: my baby will be in HIGH SCHOOL next year! UGH!