03 July 2009

It's hard...

...when a loved one dies. i think it's even harder when you KNOW that person is gonna die. all the last moments you should be enjoying, you instead spend moping, drooping...thinking about what ifs. my dad found out he was dying in march of 2006. the doctors gave him 6 months to live; he was gone in 4. his birthday was july 15th and he passed away on july 22nd. so, every year around this time i get the down in the dumps. to add to it, my cousin just told me yesterday that my grandfather won't last much longer. he's had three strokes in the last few weeks; the doctors say it's too many in such a short period of time and he won't last. so, john and i will take jamani and keanohn to the hospital in the morning...even though he doesn't remember ANY of us...and we'll say our goodbyes. so, my d.i.t.d. are worse this year because i'm reminiscing about my dad and also waiting for his father to join him. i've had a constant headache since my cousin told me. i don't care much about ribs and potato salad right now...can't think much about my stomach when my heart hurts so much...

4 comments:

Feelin' Scrappy said...

I Completely feel you! My mother passed away 10yrs ago tomorrow the 4th of July. Every year at this time it is so hard for me. I was actually just going on my blog to post a pic of her and such when I saw you just put a new posting. I understand no words will help or take the feeling away, but I will keep you in my prayers and send you hugs from far away. -Mandy

Peggy said...

Ah Keandra that's sad news. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
Big hug xxx Peggy

Feelin' Scrappy said...

Keandra I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. We both know he is in the grace of God now and is healthy and happy. But I know it leaves a great feeling of loss here on earth.
Your letter to me made me feel so loved! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I too am so grateful to have met you. I don't have a ton of girlfriends as a lot of people here in California are VERY fake. And as you said , I no longer have time for fake people. I treasure our new friendship and look forward to seeing it grow. You are a captivating soul and I love seeing people who treasure life and their loved ones. And I can tell you do! I believe everything happens for a reason, and you have fed my soul today. Thank you!!!!!
And again, I send my love to you and your family with the loss you are feeling. (((((((HUGS)))))))))
-Mandy

rachel whetzel said...

I'm so sorry, Perk...Hugs.

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